i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
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