Don't you send me to vm
I just pynch a tree in the face
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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