I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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