The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
