is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
