i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
