I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
