Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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