Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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