Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
