singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
