please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He? As in you personified your dick?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
