as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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