cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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