your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
