Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
