Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
