all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
