doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
