That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Two words: blizzard sex
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
