there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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