Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
