Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
