I wanna bring you to show and tell
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize