I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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