Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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