Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
