Do you still have your period?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Randomize
