the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
