every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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