I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
