he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
