I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
