what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Life without a bra equals bliss.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
