He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
