im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I need to wash the frat house off of me
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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