They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dignity is for republicans.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
