Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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