After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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