swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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