Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I have aggressive nipples.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
