So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
