Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
