bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it was like eating out sand paper
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
