i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
