She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
