i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
