New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
