1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
