You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
