is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize