What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
