i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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