"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
