oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
