Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
