Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize