You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
