You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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