we have officially lost it.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
