So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
