i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize